Actress Patricia Heaton isn’t choosing a favorite TV husband, but she has a few things to say about keeping a real marriage going.
“Listen, marriage is difficult. You can have the best guy in the world,” she told ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT host Kevin Frazier.
That wasn’t quite the answer Frazier was fishing for during the outlet’s Sip or Spill interview, released Oct. 25. He wanted Heaton to choose between Ray Barone of EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND and Mike Heck of THE MIDDLE, the fictional husbands who shared her sitcom households.
The game offers guests a simple choice: answer a question or take a sip. For Heaton, it also provided an introduction to the alcohol-removed wine she and her husband created.
“They’re both wonderful,” Heaton said. Frazier tried again, asking what she would do if she had to marry one of them.
Instead of handing out a husband trophy, Heaton talked about the commitment behind any marriage. A wonderful spouse doesn’t eliminate the work, she explained, and both men and women bring their difficulties to the relationship.
Related: Actress Patricia Heaton Celebrates 3 Years of Sobriety
She found humor in the challenge of two people figuring out how to live together for a lifetime. But she didn’t leave the conversation at the complaints: she described compromise, shared goals, loving each other and building a history together, ultimately calling marriage a gift.
It’s familiar territory for someone whose best-known characters have spent so much time navigating family life. Heaton won two Emmy Awards playing Debra Barone on EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, then took on another busy household as Frankie Heck in THE MIDDLE.
Warner Bros.’ description of THE MIDDLE puts the Hecks’ daily juggle in wonderfully unglamorous terms: work shifts, fast-food dinners and raising three children. Love and humor help Frankie and Mike through it; an orderly household apparently isn’t a prerequisite.
Offscreen, Heaton’s affection for her former TV families hasn’t required her to pick sides, either. Asked which cast she keeps in touch with more, she put the split at roughly half and half.
“I just had breakfast with Neil Flynn,” she said of the actor who played Mike. She also mentioned texting actor Ray Romano and his wife, Anna, and having lunch in London with a creator of THE MIDDLE and her husband.
Frazier’s questions eventually reached Heaton’s actual family, including which of her four sons the others would identify as her favorite. She objected to the idea of announcing an answer to the world — a sensible boundary for a mother whose children can hear the interview, too.
Her real-life partnership with husband and producer David Hunt also extends to a shared business. The couple’s Solubrae company website describes how they built the alcohol-removed wine brand after Heaton stopped drinking and missed the ritual of sharing wine at dinner or a celebration.
In the interview, she said the venture takes a substantial financial commitment, but they believe in it. The shared goals she had just described weren’t only a sitcom talking point.
Heaton never did supply a winning TV husband. She offered something more useful: an affectionate, clear-eyed account of marriage that makes room for both the hard work and the joy.
Questions or comments? Please write to us here.
