Henry Winkler says the secret to a long marriage is not preserving the past but learning to meet the person beside you again.
“You cannot just fall in love one time to the woman who is your partner. She changes with birth, with life, with age, with loss, with everything that goes on, and you have to rediscover her every time,” the Emmy Award-winning actor told Hoda Kotb on her podcast.
Winkler’s answer came during the July 20 episode of Kotb’s podcast, which is part of the broader JOY 101 platform. Its official site describes the project as a place to breathe, reset and return to yourself, but Winkler’s advice turned the conversation outward: joy also grows through the patient work of paying attention to another person.
Winkler and Stacey Weitzman married in 1978 after meeting two years earlier at a Beverly Hills clothing store, according to PEOPLE. Their life together has included the rise of Winkler’s fame, parenthood and the ordinary changes that can quietly reshape a family.
During the conversation, Winkler said Weitzman brought him grounding, strength and clarity. He also described her as someone who opened him up.
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Winkler spoke candidly about growing up with undiagnosed dyslexia and parents who treated his academic struggles as a sign that he was not intelligent. His account aligns with the background documented by Yale Dyslexia, which reported that he did not learn he had dyslexia until he was 31, after his stepson received the diagnosis.
That history shaped the way Winkler approached fatherhood. He told Kotb that he promised Weitzman he would be a different parent and tried to listen to his children instead of automatically repeating the harsh responses he had heard as a boy.
“The most important thing is to see who’s in front of you,” Winkler said while discussing his children. The line is simple, but it carries the same idea as his marriage advice: people are not museum pieces, and love cannot remain attentive if it refuses to notice change.
Winkler has practiced that willingness to change in his career, too. His breakout role as Fonzie on HAPPY DAYS made him a household name, but after the series ended he moved into producing, writing children’s books and other work rather than waiting for his old path to reopen.
“You must have the courage to pivot,” Winkler said. The Television Academy noted that he later won his first Primetime Emmy Award in 2018 for playing Gene Cousineau on BARRY and continued building a career as an author, producer and performer.
Near the end of the episode, Winkler connected joy with gratitude. He said he notices what is around him, including the simple beauty of a rose in his backyard, rather than waiting for a bigger event to make life meaningful.
“I am grateful for every step I take of this earth,” he said. It is a fitting companion to his marriage counsel: gratitude keeps the heart awake, while curiosity keeps love from becoming a memory.
Winkler’s advice is simple, demanding and hopeful. Do not just remember why you loved someone; keep learning who they are, and meet them there.
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